Ep. 101 - That One Exmo (pt. 1)

From Missionary to Self-Discovery: Leah's Unfiltered Journey

In this episode of the Mormon to Median podcast, our special guest Leah shares her compelling journey from growing up in an LDS family to serving a mission, facing unexpected challenges, and ultimately stepping away from Mormonism. Leah opens up about being sent home from her mission for multiple infractions, only to return and finish honorably in New Mexico. 

Through candid and humorous storytelling, she recounts the intense scrutiny and judgment she faced, and the personal growth she experienced along the way. Despite the pressures and expectations, Leah found love, faced the truth about her faith, and embraced a new path in life. 
Tune in for an emotional and eye-opening conversation filled with honesty, laughter, and transformation.  

Find Leah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/that_one_exmo?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==

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• 17:26 (Cont.) Ep. 101 - That One Exmo (pt. 1)

Transcript

nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130236: 0:00

Welcome to the Mormon to Median podcast. Uh, today we have a really special guest. she has an amazing story and, um, I cannot wait to introduce her to you. This is Leah, you tell us all about your, how to get a hold of you and where they can find you.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 0:16

yeah, I'm just on Instagram. Um, that one exmo. Uh, you can also look under Leah Marie. it. And yeah, I mean, I have a YouTube, but I don't really do too much. So Instagram is kind of where it's at.

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 0:30

Awesome. Well, and we found Leah because we have a good friend, Sandy, who's actually on the show. And she's like, okay, you guys have to watch Leah's Instagram. She's got some great reels. Um, so we started watching and you've got a crazy story, you know, growing up in Mormonism and going on a mission and coming back from a mission. And you had a lot of stuff go on. Mormonism. Tell us a little bit about your journey and then we'll just visit.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 0:57

Yeah, sure. Um, so I, yeah, I grew up LDS. Um, my parents are very, very into it. They're first generation. And so it was kind of a big deal for them. Um, and then I'm the youngest of four. And so, you know, just trying to be the best one out of all of them because they had kind of messed up. And so having that pressure on me was just, it was kind of a lot. And so it was kind of like their last hope, you know, for, for something good. So I served a mission and I felt good about going, I wanted to go, but um, yeah, my, Young adult feelings got the best of me and I kissed an elder many times while I was

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 1:36

Oh no.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 1:37

So I got kicked off and uh, when I

nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130236: 1:40

Now, where did you go?

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 1:41

they served in Boise, Idaho for a year. That's where I kissed elder. And then I finished my mission in New Mexico. So

nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130236: 1:50

Okay,

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 1:50

yeah, there was kind of a weird gap in between.

nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130236: 1:54

gotcha.

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 1:54

right. So look, I've got questions already. I'm like, we got to find out more about this.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 2:00

story.

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 2:01

So number one, was he cute?

nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130236: 2:04

Okay.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 2:12

um, I did find his Instagram page and just said like, Hey, I just want to let you know, like I've told my side of the story. I haven't said your name, but if you see a video, like just know you're, you're okay. So, um, yeah, but he, I don't know anything about him. I just, he looks happy. So. Yeah,

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 2:33

good for him. So how did it actually even come out? I mean, so, so look, usually for those who don't understand how Mormon missionaries work, they usually pair up. They're always supposed to be with their companion. When they're not with their companion, it's only supposed to be for a very short amount of time. What are the logistics of this? How did that even happen?

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 2:56

so I was, um, so they have these, they're called sister training leaders and basically you're kind of like in the mission, you know, you're You kind of train the new sister missionaries and they come to come to you if you're having, they're having issues with, you know, their companion and stuff. And so I was kind of in charge a little bit and I had been training a new missionary and I kind of took advantage of that. And I was like, Hey, I have access to the phone. Um, you can't see any messages. And she believed me. So I feel kind of bad. I, I kind of manipulated that cause I didn't want to get caught. so then, yeah, I mean, I just kind of, we were just texting a little bit here and there, you know, and she never found out. was his companion that found out about it. Yeah, and he ratted us out. No, and he was the worst missionary of them all, like the most cocky. He played football for BYU and just thought he was like the cat's meow. And so when I found out that he had told, I was like, oh yeah, of course he did.

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 4:02

Yeah.

nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130236: 4:02

Wow.

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 4:03

sales, bro. Right?

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 4:05

Oh, totally. Yeah.

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 4:06

Yeah. I can see the flat hat and everything. I, yeah,

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 4:10

Yeah.

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 4:10

I've just got this image of exactly who he is.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 4:13

Yep. Mm hmm.

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 4:14

So, so he ratted you out. What, what was the process after that? I, I imagine the, the mission president was like, Okay, sister.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 4:22

Mm

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 4:22

Um, how did that go? Like, what was that conversation like?

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 4:26

was scary. Um, he wanted to meet at a church building. And so, yeah, we, we met him immediately. And his wife was there, the mission presence wife. My companion had no idea what was going on. She was scared and I couldn't tell her anything. And so, um, he didn't want me to tell her. So yeah, we met and it was about 10 minutes. We sat there and I didn't say anything. I couldn't get anything out. Like he was just sitting there trying to convince me that this was, You know, good for me to tell him every detail. I needed to let him know every single thing so that he can report it to like, you know, the higher ups, like the area 70. And it was just, all I kept feeling was like my parents disappointing my parents. Cause my brother had also got kicked off his mission

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 5:14

Oh,

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 5:14

around. And so my parents had been through this before. So it was just a lot of emotions. I just, I didn't want to tell, I didn't want to tell him, you know, cause it was just kissing, but I knew it would. It was not okay.

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 5:28

right. It's Oh, go ahead, man.

nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130236: 5:31

I, I, I can't even imagine, I can't imagine that they even treated you, um, the same as they would treat him. It has, it had to be a different thing because the guy never gets it as bad as the girl does.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 5:44

Yeah. Yeah. When I got home and I, you know, I did end up talking to him, we chatted about that and um, yeah, I mean, he didn't tell his Bishop. He didn't tell anybody. He didn't have to, nobody pressured him to go back out. It was really odd.

nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130236: 6:00

Wow.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 6:01

yeah, very, very different for him than it was for me.

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 6:04

So did they send him home also?

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 6:06

They did. Yeah. Yeah. They sent him home too.

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 6:10

Gotcha.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 6:10

week later. I had to stay in the mission field for a whole week and I couldn't pray. I couldn't teach lessons. I had to stay in with, they had, uh, other sister companions that come and switch out so my companion could go out, you know, and, um, yeah, it was wild. It was

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 6:27

For kissing.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 6:28

For kissing. Yeah. Yeah, we did nothing more than just make out.

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 6:32

That seems like so such an extreme reaction compared to what took place.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 6:40

Yeah

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 6:40

It's so

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 6:41

it was a couple of weeks and it was more than one time I think it was just like wow, this really is a problem for for them You know, like it was ongoing and we would have kept it going on too for sure.

nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130236: 6:54

You know, my, my mind is going to, um, the hormones of kids that age and did they not think of that? maybe they have raging hormones and you're asking these kids that are supposed to be, you know, so innocent and everything, um, to not do anything like that, to be around other kids. It's without adult supervision just to be around kids that age. You're, you've got so many hormones going on, um, I, I think that your story isn't, probably like a lot of people's. By the way, I, I, I like your, your cup. Please tell me it has, uh, what's it called? Uh,

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 7:31

Moscow mule. Horrible.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 7:34

Yep. Uh huh. My friend got them for me We were at a bar and I was like, I love copper and she got them for me. So I love them. Yeah.

nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130236: 7:43

ginger ale, so, and I love it. Or ginger beer. I love it. So, I love those drinks. They're so good.

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 7:50

Horrible stuff.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 7:51

just water in it, but you know

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 7:53

Hey, do you know what? It's your story. You can tell whatever you want. Nobody knows. We sure. It's water.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 8:00

Yeah,

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 8:01

everyone, Leah's got water in her mud,

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 8:04

I'm just a stay at home mom it's not a big deal I'm never stressed

nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130236: 8:09

No stress.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 8:10

No.

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 8:10

just uses a copper mug instead of a Stanley

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 8:13

Yes. Oh yeah. I do actually have a Stanley. That's really funny.

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 8:17

We know what's in those

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 8:19

Yes. Oh

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 8:20

We understand.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 8:21

Oh yeah. Guilty.

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 8:23

We, we are parents too. Yeah. Our kids are just older. Yeah.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 8:28

That's awesome. Yeah. That's funny. But yeah, the hormones, I mean it is, it's so true. Like they do send you out and I think they're aware. I think they know. That they are, they're, cause, you know, they're, they're, it's such a commitment that you have to make. That if you get through your mission, you know, the chances are, you, you will get married in the temple, and that's more money for them. And I, I think it's all about money. I really do.

nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130236: 8:53

Oh,

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 8:53

hundred percent.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 8:54

really is. It's just about

nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130236: 8:55

percent. Hundred percent.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 8:58

Yeah. It's sad, but there were so many missionaries in that mission that were flirting. And I've had a lot of, uh, you know, missionaries I knew that were like, Oh, I was also with this elder and this person. I was like, that's crazy. Like, and you guys didn't get in trouble. Like I'm jealous,

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 9:14

Wow. So were you out after they changed the, the age limit and they lowered the age limit? I don't know how old you are. You've got this timeless look,

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 9:23

just about to turn 19 the next month. So yeah, like the conference was October and I was going to be 19 in November. So I was like, I was there when they made the announcement and it was, you know, it was exciting. I felt super important and I

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 9:39

right?

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 9:39

of other girls felt very important too, which is why. They're, they all went out, you know, everybody did it.

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 9:46

Yeah. I always have thought that, that's so weird that we, you know, as a Mormon culture would send people out to teach our religion who have zero life experience, like nothing. You don't know anything. As a 19 year old, you don't know dick about dick. You're like, yeah, I testify. This is so true. What struggles have you ever had in your life to actually have to really rely on religion? Right. I mean, yeah, I, um,

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 10:17

testimony of the law of chastity. I was such a good girl. I didn't do anything naughty ever my mission. And I, I, when I would be telling, you know, middle aged men don't masturbate, like don't have sex with women, you know, or if it was a couple that were living together, but not married. Like I felt like I had no place. You know, but I still was told that this is what God wants, and so I was their messenger, you

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 10:42

Oh my gosh. They're trimming the hedge right outside the window here. Can you guys hear that? Okay, good. Cause it's so loud. Um, yeah. Do you know, that's kind of a crazy thing, right? Is we've got these young kids out there going. Yeah, you, you shouldn't smoke and you shouldn't drink coffee and you can't drink alcohol and you cannot live with your girlfriend anymore. Uh, or else I can't baptize you and you won't get eternal life. It seems like such a, uh, a double standard, I guess. Um, and maybe

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 11:15

advice from young people who don't know anything, you know? Like, it's just silly, you know? Like, I saw missionaries at the store the other day, and I'm like, they look so young, and like, they're not fully developed. Why,

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 11:27

Yeah,

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 11:28

telling people how to live their life, you know?

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 11:30

exactly.

nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130236: 11:31

And they also, they also look at you through such a judgmental lens, you know, um, with their lack of experience, they have this judgmental lens that they're like, Oh, well, you're a horrible person because. You did this or you did this rather than be like, so what's your story? You know, um, I just find it so interesting. And I took my, I took my name off the records of the church. We're coming up on three years ago and I've never had missionaries come by, but a week after I got the notification from the attorneys that my name was off, they come by every single time there's a new set. They come by and knock on my door and Brad's like, Aw shit! Race to the door! Race to the door! gonna eat them alive! And I'm, I'm not, I'm nice, but I'm just like, If you want to talk religion, you don't know what you're talking about. You don't want to go there with me, but I'll be nice.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 12:22

yeah,

nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130236: 12:23

Yeah, I feel bad for them. Do you know what I mean? Because they're just, their whole pitch is, so we wanted to talk to you about your neighbors. I'm like,

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 12:30

Yeah.

nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130236: 12:31

one's a Jew. That one's a Democrat. That was, you know, they're not going to talk to you. They're not going to answer their doors. Like this happens all the time.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 12:38

thing is they know this like missionaries have a big ass binder of their whole area and who do not contact you and you have all information about even neighbors, you know, just notes. So it's just silly missionaries still push it. You know, they still, you know. show up.

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 12:56

We decided it's because we're a mixed faith relationship because I'm still a Mormon. Because my name is still on the records, but Nan is off. So, you know, I think that makes us fair game.

nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130236: 13:07

No, Brad's name is on the records. Cause he won't just, it's his backup plan. So you can be still to his ex wife for eternity if he wants to.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 13:15

a

nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130236: 13:15

So that's what it is. Yeah.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 13:17

a good reason to do that. Yeah, for

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 13:18

Oh boy.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 13:19

I

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 13:19

Well, it's an insurance policy, I guess, yeah.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 13:22

it is. Yeah. That's a good way to look at it.

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 13:25

Or I'm just too lazy to do anything about it is really the accurate answer there.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 13:31

you could be excommunicated. I'm kind of jealous. I wish I would have gone through an excommunication process, like sitting down.

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 13:38

Yeah, just to know what it was like. Right?

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 13:40

know what it was like to be in a room full of men, just like lasers, you know, focused on you. It would have been interesting. You know,

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 13:48

Right. You know, it's, uh, such a, a weaponized use of guilt.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 13:54

that's all it is. Yeah.

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 13:56

Very interesting. So after your mission, so you said you, they, they, they set you down and said, all right, sister, you're going to hang out here for a week and then we're going to figure out what to do with you. You said you also served in New Mexico. So they sent you from Idaho to New Mexico because that was far enough away from the boy.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 14:13

So I did have to go home. I was home for six months and I couldn't hold a calling. Um, I was kind of on like church disciplinary, you know, kind of thing, but I, it was not official. They didn't

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 14:25

Ah,

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 14:26

do anything. He just kind of kept me like, you know. You know, and I just went to my family ward and then eventually I was able to go to my singles ward while I was home for that time just to get out and be social. Cause I wasn't working. I

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 14:40

right.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 14:40

just hanging out waiting to go back to hear from the area 70. He was the one that was making the decision.

nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130236: 14:47

Wow.

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 14:47

Got it. How did that affect you on a personal level? Like, like, was, that had to be hard to go back to church and be like, Oh, yeah, I can't pray or I'm sorry, I'm not going to take the sacrament or, you know, what was that like?

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 15:02

it was awful. Um, I mean, I, I came home because I, you know, broke rules and I was told by my parents and my church leaders to like lie and say I was home for a concussion. And, um,

nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130236: 15:15

What?

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 15:16

reasons, and then it's like, Oh, can't take the sacrament? Why can't you take the sacrament? you can't pray in this class? Why not? So it was, it was awful. Yeah.

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 15:26

They actually told you to lie about it.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 15:28

Yes. Yes. I,

nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130236: 15:30

Wow.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 15:31

my sisters, nobody knew. I had no cousins. Nobody knew why I was really home for my

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 15:36

Wow.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 15:37

tell them. Yeah.

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 15:38

Interesting.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 15:40

I guess they didn't want to take the sacrament. I don't know, make my parents look bad or something.

nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130236: 15:45

The shame runs deep. Holy cow. Wow.

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 15:49

that is surprising to me. So after you're there for six months and they're publicly humiliated you enough, then they said, okay, now your humiliation is over. We can send you back to the mission.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 16:00

Yeah, and they asked me too, they, they were, the Area 70 called me and said, do you want to go back to Boise? you want to go to somewhere new? And I thought, well, I didn't even think that I had a chance to go back to Boise. And so I said, yeah, I'll go back to Boise. And then they came back and my mission president said it wouldn't be good for me to come back because there had been a lot of rumors, you know, after we left and they shut down my area that I was in. And so, you know, they just dissolved it all. And so yeah, then they were like, sorry, you can't go back to Boise. And I said, okay, well, maybe I'll go to Temple Square. I thought that would be a really fun kind of unique experience. And they're like, no, we want to send you to New Mexico in the middle of nowhere on, you

nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130236: 16:43

Wow. Wow.

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 17:21

bad experience, because I hear

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 17:23

good. I obeyed every rule. I didn't kiss any missionaries on that mission. yeah, I returned with honor, I would say.

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 17:31

that's a catchphrase. I love that you returned with honor.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 17:34

Mm

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 17:34

Um, you know, it's interesting, though, you will talk to missionaries return missionaries, right? And you either get it was such an amazing experience. Best two years of my life, or it was horrible. I can't believe the trauma I have as a result. I'm glad I learned a different language and culture, but. The religious part with was traumatic. How would you describe your whole mission experience?

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 17:57

it was amazing. I thrived in it. I mean I wanted to be there. I loved the work I was doing. I love the people. I love serving others and so it was easy and I would rather be out than home with my parents. So there's a eight year gap between me and the sister above me. Um, and so from 12 to 18, I was the only one living at home. So like I was kind of an only child and I

nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130236: 18:23

I'm going to give you a couple of minutes to think about it, and then we'll get started.

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 18:47

that that's a great way to take it as a positive? I think I love that you are actually aware enough to go. Hey, this is healthier for me.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 18:55

Yeah, it was.

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 18:57

So as you came back and you fast forwarded what happened when you came back? Were you just like perfect Molly Mormon?

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 19:04

No, no. I lost my virginity in between my missions, which is a whole other story.

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 19:11

You didn't tell us that part.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 19:13

Yeah, so I will. Um, so I, I couldn't have a calling, but they wanted me, this was about a month or two before I went back on my mission, so they wanted me to get back into the mission mode. So I started going out with the sister missionaries in my young single adult ward, and we were teaching a guy, and he was cute, and we got along, and, um, yeah, we started hanging out, and it was on his actual, it was his baptism day. We went back to his house, and we, celebrated. So I was like, yeah, let's do this. I don't, I don't mind. Let's yeah, let's have fun. So yeah, so I lied a lot, but when I got back, I went back right into of that fun stuff I was doing before.

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 19:54

Gotcha. I, I like the, yeah, we celebrated. I'm going to start using that.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 19:58

I had my first beer that night too. So it

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 20:01

Oh, right after he'd been baptized.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 20:04

Right after he had been baptized. Yeah.

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 20:06

That is a, kudos to you. Um, way to buck the system.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 20:09

Yeah, I did. It was fun. I enjoyed it.

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 20:12

Well, okay.

nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130236: 20:13

wasn't that really hard for you to go back out into the mission field and act like nothing. Happens when you had done this stuff over here. No.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 20:23

I was so numb to any punishment or however anyone thought that I just I was like I didn't care and he knew too I was like, you know I'm going back on my mission and he was all for it. He's like, yeah, I want to see you go like have fun You know, so I and there was it wasn't serious So I didn't feel like I had to you know, stay back for him and battle that it was just like I just want to have fun and experience this and know, he was open to it and he had already experienced it himself. So I was like, all right, like I trusted him and we're still friends. So it, you know, it's kind of nice to look back on that and be like,

nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130236: 20:58

Nice.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 20:58

that's what happened. And I'm sorry, I was not the best example, but fine.

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 21:03

it's essentially you experience the same things that normal college age kids should go and experience.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 21:09

Yeah, yeah, it was awesome. I don't regret it at all. Yeah.

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 21:14

Well, Leah.

nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130236: 21:15

Oh, shoot.

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 21:16

Have you read the miracle of forgiveness?

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 21:19

Yes. My mother forced me to read it when I was like 16. Just to get it in my brain Yeah,

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 21:29

I'm sorry. I couldn't resist. I've like, I've got just the thing for you.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 21:34

I Love it. That's

nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130236: 21:35

Oh,

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 21:39

and, and obviously I think you, feels like you already kind of had your shelf break and you're like, eh, it's not my thing. Um, how did that work out for you? And what was really, you know, that, uh, that game changer for you? And, and how did you approach that with your family?

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 21:57

Yeah. I mean I still believed I still like I wanted to get married in the temple Even when I got back, so I I looked for a Mormon boy, and I moved to Provo Um, I thought, well, this will be a good environment for me. I'll be around a lot of people my age. And, um, no, it was the most horniest party town I'd ever been to. I mean, it was worse than what kids do in California. I mean, really, it's just crazy. And, um, I went on a lot of Tinder dates and so it's just, I was still going to church though. I still really believed I was looking for a spouse. And then, um, yeah, I met my husband on Tinder and he is from Ogden, which Ogden and Provo are very, very, very different towns.

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 22:40

Yes.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 22:41

Yeah. I mean, we got married like three months later. So it was just like, I didn't, my parents accepted it because he was Mormon. So my parents were like, Oh, this is great. We can, you can come back. Like you guys can get active together and maybe get sealed. And my mom had a dream. about my dad hugging my husband in the temple and white. And my mom told me that this would happen one day. She like manifested that, you know, we, we would get sealed in the temple eventually. And so I tried, I tried. And then my husband was in an anthropology class in college. And that's when I was like, Oh shit, like, this is not real. There's so much more out there than just Mormonism and Joseph Smith. And that's, that's really where my shelf fell. Just completely fell was I was like, oh, yeah, this is not this is not true. There's no way there's no way it

nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130236: 23:30

Right. So it was his anthropology classes and the looking at the historical facts of things that you were like, yeah, this is bullshit.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 23:39

Yeah, the

nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130236: 23:40

Wow.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 23:41

and letter for my wife letter for my wife was another one

nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130236: 23:46

interesting.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 23:47

my shelf Yeah, Mind blown about the facts about Joseph Smith, you know, it still baffles me that I was so fooled and I didn't see it

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 23:58

You know, it seems like they're very good at obscuring the history that's not positive to them. And you're never taught those things, right? I was always, as I grew up, I was always taught Brigham Young started polygamy because there were so many men that died crossing the plains, and the women needed someone to take care of them, so they started polygamy. And then I started learning, wait a minute, that's BS! Because Joseph started it, and Emma hated it! And All of this stuff starts to come to light. And the more you learn, the more you go, I

nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130236: 24:32

the,

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 24:34

so lied to for all of these years. And even if they were just lies of omission, it's still lies. Right. And that was, it was like an arrow to my heart when, when I started finding this stuff out.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 24:47

yeah, I I questioned Emma at one point too, and I was like what happened to Emma? And I remember asking my husband he's

nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130236: 24:53

Um,

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 25:23

And um, I, I think shame on the Mormon church for making a lot of people fooled at their relationship, you know, cause it's just,

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 25:30

Yeah.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 25:30

it was.

nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130236: 25:31

It's crazy, wow. I know I look back on my, my journey too and I was so in until I was like 48 years old, like so in trying to fit inside that little Mormon box and I believed it all with all of my heart. But I was, I was born into the church and so I didn't know any different. And, um, I guess I borrowed people's, people's testimonies, but. Boy, when my world shattered and I started seeing spirits with my human eyes. Nobody could help me. It was like, wait a second.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 26:02

Yes.

nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130236: 26:03

what is going on? And, and no one can help me. You're, you have these priesthood leaders, you know, and it's supposed to be the true church, right? Jesus is supposed to be the head of it, and they, they can't tell me why I'm seeing things that I'm seeing. And I'm like, um, this doesn't make sense.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 26:17

have all the answers. They don't have all the answers. That's

nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130236: 26:20

No, no, they,

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 26:22

And they'll convince you.

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 26:25

Yes.

nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130236: 26:25

they cheat all of us out of our birthright as a soul, because we come to this earth with all of these heavenly gifts, but they cheat us out of it because we're supposed to follow the prophet only and not get in touch with our own gifts that we come to earth with. And so a lot of people don't even know or, Don't even believe, you know, in, in being in touch with the other side or, you know, feeling our loved ones that have passed and it just, it blows my mind that it's not a thing that it's not a natural thing that we talk about and, and embrace,

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 26:54

Yeah, and

nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130236: 26:54

know, and

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 26:54

think after, like, Baptisms for the Dead and things that they do in the temple, like, they should be, but yeah, they're not. They're not.

nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130236: 27:02

yeah, it's so crazy.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 27:04

Yeah.

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 27:05

Well, and I think it's. It's scary for them, right? Because they want to have all the answers, but they don't. And if they admit that they don't know, then somehow it weakens their position. To me, I like it much better when someone says, Shit, I don't know. I'll see what I can find out, though. You know, go and do some research. Let me know. If you don't know the answer, it's okay. I would have so much more respect.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 27:29

I feel like sometimes when people ask me questions on, my page, you know, I feel like it's been so long since I've gone through an endowment session that it's hard for me to be like, okay, here's step by step. Like, cause I it's been so long and my brain has really forgotten a lot of that stuff. Um,

nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130236: 27:46

Yeah.

leah_1_02-21-2025_130235: 27:46

remember it, yeah, it's like, Oh no. Like that's, that's not good. You know, it's, It's unhealthy.

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 27:53

Yeah. Well, like when I was coming out of anesthesia, and I'll let you talk about that, Nand.

nannette-_1_02-21-2025_130236: 28:01

No, you say it. You brought it up.

brad_1_02-21-2025_130227: 28:04

Well, okay, so, you know, before you go through your endowment session, there's the washing and anointing, right? And I remember being completely overwhelmed. So, um, my girlfriend in high school got pregnant. Um, obviously, you know, I didn't go on a mission after that. They, they don't like young fathers to be missionaries. Um, but we did end up getting married and, you know, a year after we got married, We're going to go through the temple. All right, here we go. And nobody prepared me for this washing and anointing thing,