Ep. 94 - Finding Love Amidst Life's Twists and Turns (Collaboration with The Shit Behind the Show pt. 2)

Welcome to the second part of the collaboration between the Mormon to Medium Podcast and The Shit Behind the Show Podcast with Christine Tanner. In this episode, Christine steers the conversation back to the relationship between Nann and Brad. Nannette delves into her journey and shares the story of moving from a tumultuous past involving multiple relationships and a tragic loss to finding real love and friendship with Brad. Through anecdotes about her dating experiences post-divorce and widowhood, Nanette discusses the importance of soulmates, spiritual journeys, and the crucial role of friendship in her love story. Get ready for a heartfelt mix of humor and raw truth as these hosts explore themes of love, loss, and healing. Don't forget to catch Episode 93 for the beginning of this conversation and stay tuned for Episode 95!

Transcript

Nannette: 0:01

Welcome to the Mormon to medium podcast, where we'll talk about spirituality, the paranormal religion, and my journey going from Mormon to medium. I'm Nanette Wride. Thanks for listening. Now let's go have some fun.

Brad: 0:21

Hello, everybody. Welcome to the show. This is the second part of a great conversation Collaboration between the Mormon to medium podcast and the ship behind the show podcast with Christine Tanner We Are so grateful that you joined us, but if you haven't listened to episode 93, you might want to go back, catch yourself up on the conversation, then sit back and enjoy.

Christine: 0:45

And I was the relationship girl too. So it was like I would meet a guy and just like so codependent and I would jump into a relationship three to six months later. I'm in another one and I just kept doing that. And yeah, I was like

Nannette: 0:57

That's exhausting.

Christine: 0:59

Yeah, it was. It was, but I never took the time to like sit with myself. It was just go, go, go like date. And then I was

Nannette: 1:08

So you didn't know yourself well enough to know what you wanted, so you were just, you were just keeping busy.

Christine: 1:15

Yep, I was just, I call it putting a band aid on it, right? The dating and just busy all the time. I even, I would work Saturdays and Sundays. I would go into work alone and watch football just to occupy my mind.

Nannette: 1:30

Wow.

Christine: 1:31

it was, I just never stopped. And, And as you know, like I was going through a ton, you know, still going through divorce stuff. Like I was a shit show. I was seriously just a mess.

Nannette: 1:43

But how many people do that when they don't want to sit in their shit and they don't want to feel it? So they just go a thousand miles an hour all the time. So it's, you know, it's a diversion from having to have to do their own work. So many people walk around doing that all the time.

Christine: 1:59

And that's why I started a show, but let's go back to you guys.

Brad: 2:03

back

Christine: 2:04

So speaking of when we first met and stuff, first of all, Brad came in and he to work and it was like, What cartoon character is that on Looney Tunes? That like, was it the skunk with the hearts And the eyes? That's, I swear, that's what it was like. And he was just Twitter pated. And you guys have the cutest story of like, where you came from and how you evolved together with two different traumatic experiences. Like divorce and being widowed and you guys have the most amazing Marriage and friendship. I'm so jealous of you guys

Nannette: 2:48

be jealous.

Christine: 2:49

but i'm jealous You

Brad: 2:51

You know, I think the key that you just hit on is friendship because we became friends far before anything else happened. And I think that was the most important step that we took. But yeah, you're right. Um, Nan definitely stalked me for a while.

Nannette: 3:05

is hot though, Okay. Him.

Christine: 3:09

you don't take hints, Brad.

Nannette: 3:12

oblivious,

Christine: 3:13

Apparently making

Nannette: 3:14

oblivious. So my husband was murdered in January of 2014 and all of the pomp and circumstance and all of the public, everything happening, I felt like I was on a really fast merry go round that just never stopped. I could never get off of it. And so many people were just like biting at me and wanting more information or more a piece of action or whatever. So he waited until. August, and then he reached out to me on messenger and he is, he said, I just want to give you my condolences and give you some of my memories of Corey. I used to work with him and train dogs with him and literally he gave me literal memories that were tangible and I just sat there and sobbed because I had heard so many times, I'm so sorry for your loss. You know, and it's like, that doesn't mean anything. Don't tell me that I know you feel bad, but tell me you feel bad and just hug me. But don't say, I feel so sorry for your loss and walk away because it's like, okay, thanks. I think like, I don't even know that leaves me empty, but tangible memories were like, they were like a balm for my soul, you know? And, so. I looked him up on Facebook because I didn't know anything about him. I was like, Oh, he's so handsome and he's bald. And I had this, I've always had this fantasy about a bald guy. So my husband who was killed full head of hair, like you're looking GQ hair and

Brad: 4:41

Oh, Cory had great hair.

Nannette: 4:42

He had great hair, pretty boy, like literally. And he, he was like youthful all the time. It made me sick. Like just never would age, but I always wanted a guy that was bigger than me, but I never said it. Never said it. I always wanted a bald guy. Yeah. I always wanted a guy that was bigger energy. And Corey was more blend into the wall. Don't pay attention to me type of person. He was my exact same height. Our hands were the same size. Our feet were the same size, like literally. And like, I would tease him because he tried to pick me up and his legs would buckle. So like, it's like, no, I wanted somebody that could Move me around and like, make me feel like I was skinny cause I probably wasn't like whatever. But, um, so I'm looking at these pictures of him and, and he is with his kids and like he looks like a really good dad and like whatever. And so I just kind of would say stuff on his Facebook every once in a while. And so that was in August. So

Brad: 5:34

I I did.

Nannette: 5:36

I did just to see what he looked like and what he was like, you know,

Christine: 5:39

we all do it.

Nannette: 5:40

But he was the only person, literally the only person that gave me memories. And so in October he had put a post up that said even Hitler had a girlfriend. I was like, Ooh, this means he doesn't have a girlfriend. Now we have to back up in my story a little bit because people will think, Oh, she's a widow. Her husband was murdered in January. Now October she wants to date. I had a gift from Corey. And a couple of days before he was killed, um, he was pacing in our bedroom and he was sobbing. Like his Royal blue eyes were just full of tears and he was just sobbing and he pulled his baby fine hair and pulled it out and I'm like, what is wrong? And he said, Nan, something is so wrong right here. And he touched his heart and I'm like, what do you mean? Is it money? Is it the kids? Like what's wrong? And he sat on the end of the bed and just stopped for him and he looked up at me and he says, I just need to spend time with you I was like, Okay, awesome. Neither one of us have to go to, this is Monday. Neither one of us have to go to work until Thursday. And so let's spend time together. This will be awesome. I'll date you like awesome. We'll spend this time together. But he kept crying and he kept sobbing and he came over to me and he grabbed hold of my shoulders and he said, Nan, when I die. I need you to promise me that you will fall in love and you'll move forward. You don't do well alone. And I was like, fuck you. You are not doing this shit right now. Like back it up. Like it was the maddest I've ever been with him in 18 years of marriage. It was like, I, because I'd had three dreams, he would be shot and killed. So I, and we had talked about it and he literally is nine months from retirement. So it was like, no, you were not doing this right now. This is not, but he, and he shook me. It's like, Shaken baby syndrome here, shook me. He said, Nan, promise me, as he has these tears just streaming down his face, I said, okay, fine. Can we just stop talking about this?

Brad: 7:32

But, but he said when, not

Nannette: 7:34

No. Yeah. He said when I die, not if he said when. And so I think he had the heads up on Monday and on Thursday is when he was murdered. So, um, it was such a gift, but such a hard time when it happened. So that is why I moved ahead. Like I did, because it was like. Yeah, I'm not doing good by myself here. And I'm literally drowning and I don't want to be in this space. I need someone where I can feel safe again because my safe was murdered that day. And my world is shattered. And so that's why I started to talk to him. And I was like, he felt safe. He felt kind. He felt like he was a good person. so I gotten hold of him on messenger when he had posted that. And I'm like, so

Brad: 8:19

but you had been dating other guys.

Nannette: 8:21

not very many. No, not before that. No, I started dating really heavy from October to April. Really heavy between there because I was just like, fuck it. He's not listening to me. So I'll just go do something

Christine: 8:34

not paying it. He's not picking up when I'm putting

Nannette: 8:36

No, I was, I was legit like, so you don't have a girlfriend. No, I don't have a girlfriend. I'm like, so what kind of girls are you into? And he goes, well, I've never dated a blonde, so probably not a blonde. I was like, okay. Okay. So, and I'm like, so what kind of personality? He goes, well, I want somebody that's really happy, you know, that, that likes to adventure. He goes, and they, they have to have, use proper grammar. They have to know the difference between their, they're, and there, and your, you're, and yore, and like all the things. I'm like me, me, me, me the whole time. And

Christine: 9:05

pick me.

Nannette: 9:06

nothing over here, like not picking it up. So he's telling me all about what he wants and I'm like, check in all the boxes. Like, I mean. It's right here, right here. You should date me. And so we get done with the conversation. I'm like, I know exactly who you should date. And he goes, really? Who? Well, that was the last time we talked until the following April.

Brad: 9:24

talked until the following April. I

Nannette: 9:26

Oblivious. Believe me.

Brad: 9:27

Oblivious. Is that an appropriate

Christine: 9:29

Really, who?

Brad: 9:30

Yeah, who? Wouldn't it be presumptive

Christine: 9:33

Who's the blonde here?

Brad: 9:34

if I was,

Christine: 9:36

I dunno.

Brad: 9:37

I was like, Oh yeah, you're totally into me. Apparently I'm

Christine: 9:40

true. I

Brad: 9:40

to date you. Right? That would be

Nannette: 9:43

if you were, if you were suave, you would be like, so do you check any of those boxes?

Brad: 9:49

But I'm not, but I'm not Rico Suave.

Nannette: 9:51

who do you think I should date, man?

Christine: 9:54

Oh yeah, yeah. I would've asked, oh yeah, tell me more.

Brad: 9:57

Okay.

Nannette: 9:58

But no, it, it literally like conversation ended right there. I didn't talk to him again. I watched him and I, I saw that he like traveled and at one point he had to travel and go to a laundromat cause he got stuck traveling and had to rewash his clothes. I'm like, Oh yeah, I don't want to date anybody that travels like that. That's, that's not for me.

Brad: 10:16

That was a horrible Chicago trip.

Christine: 10:18

Yeah. You traveled a lot.

Nannette: 10:19

Yeah.

Brad: 10:20

still do.

Nannette: 10:21

He still does. Yeah. Yeah. But in the meantime, I dated guys and I, by the way, I'd never dated before ever. So I got knocked up at 16 first, first experience and it was not a good one. I didn't even know what sex was. Okay. So knocked up at 16, married for 10 years, super abusive, um, got divorced, um, went to my friend's house with, and I was hanging out with her and her boyfriend. We went to a bar and, where I met another guy. Married him like three months later. So only saw him. So I never really dated.

Christine: 10:57

Yeah,

Nannette: 10:57

He used to beat the shit out. He, he drank a 12 pack of beer every night and he chewed and smoked and he would pull my kids out of bed at night when they were sleeping, beat the shit out of them. And he would lock me in rooms and tell me what I could wear, what I could say, like all the things. So that lasted three years cause I needed to punish myself. That was my, I hate God stage. that I went through. And then, then I went, there was, there's a radio station that was doing like, um, calendars, you know, and so that all these girls, trying out for all these calendars and stuff. And I ended up being one of the calendar pinups. Girls. And, very,

Brad: 11:32

month were you?

Nannette: 11:33

I was a June and I was the cover. I was hot. anyways, anyways, I had some really cool bathing suits. I think that's why. But anyway,

Christine: 11:41

I want to see these.

Nannette: 11:43

okay. It's a long time ago and so many Nans ago, but.

Brad: 11:47

I honestly, I think Nan is way more attractive now than she was then because there is a very different confidence vibe. You can, you can feel the lack of confidence in her photos from that calendar versus the confident woman you see before you now. Very different.

Christine: 12:05

is sexy.

Brad: 12:07

is very

Nannette: 12:07

That is what he told me when we were dating. He said, you know, the sexiest thing about a woman is her confidence. It doesn't matter what she looks like, but it's what comes from inside. And I was like, well, I got none of that, so we're done

Brad: 12:22

Well, and

Nannette: 12:23

boobs.

Christine: 12:24

Boobs. Oh, yes. Oh, yeah.

Nannette: 12:25

Yeah. Yeah. Well, and I found that out with the guys that I was dating, um, and, and all I wanted was to laugh. I, I was doing their, their running thing. I was just keeping busy. So I would date people just to go on dates, but I mean, I screened them. They knew that I wasn't going to sleep with them. I put that out up front, like, and I'm looking for my best friend. The end, because that's what I had just lost. So it was like, this is what I want. And most of the guys were like, yeah, no, I just want to sleep with you. And I'm like, yeah, we're not doing that. And I can't even tell you how many of those came through. And then other ones were like, Oh no, it's good. And then I actually get in a room with them and then they, Try to attack me. And so I decided that I was going to start just meeting at coffee shops and I would show up early and buy my own coffee. So I didn't owe them shit and then they would show up and if they couldn't carry on a conversation and energy wasn't there, I would just be like, yeah, peace out. I even dated, went on one date with somebody that, um, put a younger picture of himself up. Like in his forties, he was very handsome, but I had a 70 year old that showed up to look like Santa in a grandma sweatshirt. It was so embarrassing and I was hot. I was so hot and he like, and yeah, it was so embarrassing.

Brad: 13:41

He totally catfished you.

Nannette: 13:42

He catfished me and, and even the person at the Chipotle saw me sitting with him being very, cause I'm, I'm a kind person. And at this point. I'm kind of it. I don't know how to use it as a power. I kind of let people walk all over me a

Christine: 13:56

Nice.

Nannette: 13:57

Yeah, it wasn't a power yet.

Christine: 14:00

Yeah.

Nannette: 14:01

Um, I was learning, but even, even the guy that brought me my food, he goes, are you okay? do you want me to sit here with Do you need to go to your car? I'm like, no, I think I'm okay. Ended up like we ended up just being friends and just kind of went our way. And I'm like, you do not look like your picture, like not cool. You're a nice person, but don't do shit like that to people. That's not cool. Type of thing that I had other people like that Justin guy, that Justin guy,

Brad: 14:28

like,

Nannette: 14:28

Swinger City, like, and, and I was like, I was like, seriously swing swingers. There are swingers. I thought that was like a 1960s thing. Like I, I'm so naive and so innocent, like literally so in the Mormon box. And so like,

Christine: 14:44

Yeah. like, I

Nannette: 14:45

no idea it was a thing. Yeah. Completely taken aback. And then I just laughed and I'm like. Ew. No. Ew. Like I just can't even wrap my head around that. So had people like that. And then I actually dated someone that was 36 of my second kid down. Same age as my second kid down. He was so fun. He made me laugh. We went on horseback rides. Um, but the problem was, is that. He had little tiny kids and he had three six year olds that were still on pull ups and I was like, I love them and you're awesome and I'm having so much fun, but I'm done raising kids. So I had to break that off and I mean, he'd even introduced me to his parents. It was, yeah, awkward, but I learned a lot about myself. Sorry. I learned a lot about myself during all of that because I started to make my list with the universe and I was like, okay, number one. They have to be my best friend. Number two, they have to make me laugh. Number three, they have to challenge my mind because most, and I dated guys my age and they were, they're like, you're exhausting. I'm like, and you're

Christine: 15:52

Uh, yeah. I was just gonna say boring.

Nannette: 15:54

yeah. And so I was like, I want to go have adventures. I want to see the world. Like, All I've done is raised kids like, and, and don't get me wrong, my kids are awesome and they have been my greatest work, but I needed to find me and I needed to explore and find out what this girl's like because I've never had the chance, you know? And, um, yeah, so they weren't for me. So when this came along, so I, I'm seven years older than him, then Brad and I'm a cougar. Yeah. But he literally. Could keep up with me in every way, shape, and form. Like, and then the numbers didn't matter anymore, you know? So it was like, and then he became my best friend, like very quick. It was like, our souls knew each other. And strangely enough, we lived in the same city for all of these years and never ran into each other. We went to the same grocery stores, same schools, all the

Brad: 16:50

Well, there was one time that we could put together that we had actually seen each other and that was at a SWAT training and at the end of it, they had this big Dutch oven barbecue and Nan had brought food and was helping serve because it was a Utah County SWAT thing and Corey was part of Utah County SWAT, but I remember seeing her at that SWAT dinner.

Nannette: 17:13

And I remember seeing him. And what's funny is I asked the people that I was with. I was like, dang, who is that? Cause he's just yummy. Like his energy, his energy is just yummy. And those big lips. And

Christine: 17:26

I was like,

Nannette: 17:26

dang, I'm not dead. Like I can see a good looking man and be like, I mean, I completely devoted to Corey, but God, like, ouch, like, you know what I mean? Like Lenny in school, you get, ah,

Christine: 17:38

So, that's

Nannette: 17:39

that's how I felt. But it was just, oh, that Z and you know, he, he's just on, he's with the state and trains a dog, like blah, blah,

Brad: 17:48

Yeah, he's a trooper.

Nannette: 17:49

a

Brad: 17:49

don't want it.

Nannette: 17:50

Yeah. But he did the same thing. He was like, who's that? And they were like, oh, that's ride's wife. And he's like,

Brad: 17:55

I'm like, who's the blonde with the big boobs?

Christine: 17:58

Of course, I know that's what you said.

Nannette: 18:00

it is.

Christine: 18:01

what he said.

Nannette: 18:02

boobs.

Christine: 18:03

Cause we both appreciate nice boobs. So

Brad: 18:06

that

Christine: 18:07

that's why we're friends.

Brad: 18:09

you know, boobs are boobs.

Nannette: 18:13

It's so fun when he's on a conference call and I flash him,

Brad: 18:16

Oh my gosh, it's

Nannette: 18:16

he can't even keep a straight face,

Christine: 18:19

That's awesome.

Nannette: 18:21

but there was even chemistry just then. And we were with different spouses, but to be in the same little town like that and never run into each other ever again. I think it was the universe's way of being like, you don't want to hurt people. This needs to come in the right timing. So at my husband's funeral, I didn't know this until after we were together. He has a video of me walking behind the casket and I, he was literally less than 75 feet away from me

Brad: 18:49

he was literally less than 75 feet away from me. Well, okay, but

Nannette: 18:58

Well, okay, but there's like 40, 000 people at this funeral, right? So it's the McKay event center and we're down on the floor and the caskets right there. And Brad is literally off to the side videotaping that. It's almost like he's been this guardian this whole time, just at a distance, you know? And um, I, I saw it and I just, I cried. I was like, you. We're right there when my world was shattered. You were right there.

Christine: 19:24

That's so cool. I love your story. I think it's great.

Brad: 19:27

we've been together ever since.

Nannette: 19:28

well, sort of April. He asked me on our first date, best date

Christine: 19:33

Finally.

Nannette: 19:34

finally. Yeah, it was two days before my birthday. And we went to the Tulip festival in Thanksgiving point and road segways. I even got acrobatic with the

Brad: 19:43

Yeah, segways are not made to jump, just so you know that. They're supposed to keep the wheels on the

Christine: 19:48

from Nan. Thanks for the warning. Because I don't dare get on one. Because I'm so clumsy. Hey, Tinder Tanner doesn't exist anymore. Thanks. is

Nannette: 20:00

She is wearing heels.

Christine: 20:02

heels.

Nannette: 20:02

that.

Brad: 20:04

I'm sorry I went there.

Christine: 20:05

not surprised. I am Nor am I upset. Now I'm just going to be like, Brad, it's up to you to find your clone for me. Thanks. No pressure.

Brad: 20:17

If if any of you guys out there are single, attractive, and amazing, um, Christine is

Nannette: 20:22

You have to know the difference between their, their, and their, and your, your, and your, and actually be funny.

Christine: 20:27

be funny,

Nannette: 20:28

And be sexy too.

Christine: 20:29

And pick up on my sarcasm.

Brad: 20:31

Yeah, sarcasm is important.

Nannette: 20:33

yeah.

Christine: 20:33

And have, I'm not, I'll be nice.

Nannette: 20:36

Well, and have done your work. Okay.

Christine: 20:38

Yes,

Nannette: 20:39

Two feet are really important. I'm just gonna say it for you.

Christine: 20:42

for you. Oh, you know.

Nannette: 20:43

need a stable foundation.

Christine: 20:45

need a stable foundation. I wouldn't joke about it if he wouldn't laugh as well, so. You're welcome. I'm not being entirely an asshole because he would think it's funny too.

Brad: 20:54

You didn't even have to explain it that far.

Christine: 21:00

that's what I am seeking. I actually had a psychic once tell me that, um, and so far she, everything on the timeline that she told me, this was when I first started my healing journey. She gave me a reading of like my whole life. And told me the house I was going to buy all of this. And she said, um, your guy, you're going to meet him and he's everything on your list, which I didn't tell her I had a list. I have a list too, my phone. And she said, uh, and has done his work. And at that time I was like, done his

Brad: 21:35

you're like, what

Nannette: 21:36

I just got full body chills. I kid you not.

Christine: 21:39

she was, I was like done his work. I hadn't even fucking done my work. Like what the hell, you know, I didn't really understand what she meant at that time because I meant, cause I, I hadn't, I was just barely starting my journey when I talked to her. So

Brad: 21:55

cool.

Christine: 21:56

she told me I would be speaking to the world and this was before my podcast.

Nannette: 22:01

That's so

Christine: 22:02

get on it. find him.

Brad: 22:05

with

Christine: 22:09

Thank you. You, you are actually very much appreciated.

22:12

Thank you everyone for listening in and joining us for this second part of the collaboration between the Mormon to medium podcast and the ship behind the show podcast. Make sure to jump in next week and listen to episode 95 to learn all about Christine's favorite Book of Mormon character. Yeah, that's a good one. Anyway, we'll see you next time. Until then, we'll see you on the other side of the veil.