Ep. 90 - Booby Buddies, Ancestors, and Gratitude

Join Nanette and Brad on the Mormon to Medium Podcast as they dive into spirituality, the paranormal, and their personal journeys. In this episode, they discuss their love for the holidays, the emotional struggles during this time, and the importance of gratitude. They share heartwarming stories about family and ancestors, emphasizing the need to honor and remember our loved ones. With a mix of fun, laughter, and deep reflection, Nanette and Brad provide valuable insights on navigating the holiday blues and the power of connections, both in this life and beyond.

Transcript

Nannette: 0:01

Welcome to the Mormon to medium podcast, where we'll talk about spirituality, the paranormal religion, and my journey going from Mormon to medium. I'm Nanette Wride. Thanks for listening. Now let's go have some fun.

Brad: 0:27

Welcome everyone! This is the Mormon to Medium Podcast and we are so thrilled and excited because that's what you're supposed to say when you start a podcast. I'm so excited to be here.

Nannette: 0:38

Really?

Brad: 0:39

Well, look, here's my big thing is I'm excited that we are almost to Thanksgiving and Christmas. And we just finished off. Halloween and the day of the dead. And this last few months of the year is always so cool. I love the holidays.

Nannette: 0:56

Oh, seeped in tradition and family and connectedness. Yeah, we've got a lot going on. It's, I think it's exciting. It's an exciting time of year.

Brad: 1:04

Yeah. And you know, the sad thing is there are so many people out there who, who associate the holidays with

Nannette: 1:11

trauma

Brad: 1:12

trauma and sadness, or, well, I've got to choose one family or the other, rather than looking at it and going, Oh my gosh, I have the opportunity to spend time with family, or I have the opportunity to do this, or just loving, you know, the smell of pumpkin spice and peppermint or, or whatever. You know what I mean? It's, it's, uh, it's sad when,

Nannette: 1:39

this time

Brad: 1:40

this time of year is depressing for folks. I, I, I wish that it wasn't.

Nannette: 1:44

Okay, I, I want to touch on that for a minute because it really is and it. It has actually been something that's been really hard for me in our marriage, because I know that Corey's death day is four months away when September hits. And so I have his birthday in September. We have Halloween, we have Thanksgiving, we have Christmas, and then he dies. So

Brad: 2:07

and you have your anniversary,

Nannette: 2:08

well, and my anniversary is December 23rd. So, I always want to run in December and I can, we sat down to do the podcast today and I looked at Brad and I'm like, I can feel, I can feel it coming. I can, I can feel all of those emotions rushing in and it feels like somebody just flushed the toilet and I'm going around the balls like shit. But holidays can be really, really hard. But I think one thing that you've taught me, Brad because there's been a lot of times where family can't be here with us or we have celebrated holidays, just me and you and our little Papa. And what you just said earlier is, is really important. You celebrate with those that you can celebrate with. And not everyone is at the point where you're at. So, just be grateful for the people that you do have around you and the friends that you have around you. Cause not all family is blood.

Brad: 3:01

That's a good point too.

Nannette: 3:02

So yeah,

Brad: 3:04

You know, we, we pick up a lot of, a lot of people along our journey, right?

Nannette: 3:09

we have some of the most wonderful friends and I've never really had friends until I met you. Like I had acquaintances, but not

Brad: 3:16

that,

Nannette: 3:17

Friends that, you know, if my shirt gets stuck on my shoulders and my boobs are hanging out, I can actually call my friend across the street and be like, Help! I can't breathe and I can't get it off! It is!

Brad: 3:33

super graceful and, uh, Yeah, I'll let you tell the story, because I wasn't home, so I couldn't help you.

Nannette: 3:39

Brad. Brad wasn't home and so I wear, when I work, I wear like yoga stuff and so a lot of my stuff has like the built-in bras and so very elastic. Okay. and I, I have big shoulders and sometimes things get. Doc on my shoulders and I can't, I'm not, I can't like pull them up. Like I get stuck and there've been a lot of times where I've gone into Brad and been like, help me pull this over my head. And he just laughs, but he wasn't at home and this happened. And I

Brad: 4:09

also very flexible.

Nannette: 4:13

I literally was just stuck and I, I tried for like 10 minutes and couldn't get it off. And at this point I'm starting to have labored breathing and I'm like, okay, so

Brad: 4:23

she's panicked.

Nannette: 4:24

I, I'm panicking at this point. So I call my neighbor across the street. And she comes running over and she's laughing her ass off as she helps me pull my stuff over my shoulders. And I mean, I'm sitting there with nothing on other than the stuff stuck on me, but she's just laughing her butt off. And those are,

Brad: 4:43

You're like, Renee, help me! me!

Nannette: 4:47

still teases me because sometimes I can be really, really dumb, but that's okay. It's just me. Yeah. But those are good friends. Really, really good friends that you can count on. Like when Brad goes out of town, he's going out of town today. I have a backup husband. I have a couple of them across the street. If something happens or I feel unsafe, I can call them and I know they will come over and help me. So

Brad: 5:09

we've got great friends and neighbors. It really is remarkable. Yep,

Nannette: 5:27

all over the world.

Brad: 5:28

you know who you are.

Nannette: 5:29

Yeah, we're super grateful. This is time to be grateful

Brad: 5:33

It is. It absolutely is. So, and those who, who do feel a little bit blue, how do you, how do you get through that Nan? What, what is your suggestion? And then I know maybe you're like, I don't know, how the hell do I answer when it happens to me? But how would you suggest people get through the holidays when they struggle with them?

Nannette: 5:52

You know, sometimes it's just an hour by hour thing or a day to day thing. You take baby steps through that kind of stuff. But when you start to feel feelings like that it's an invitation to heal something and, and it's really hard to sit in that. But if you can go inside and remember that gratitude, love, and abundance are all the same vibration. Just sit in your gratitude and it'll help shift you out. I, that's what I've learned to do in the last 10 years because I've had some really, really, really hard years. And like I said, this morning, I can feel, I can feel it. I can feel Corey's death coming. Got some emotion. And I hate it. Absolutely hate that I can feel it, but I'm going to sit in gratitude because I have a lot of love around me. I have a lot of really good people and that's, what's going to get me through. And that's what we'll get everyone through sitting gratitude, even if it's baby steps of gratitude. Like I got up today and I put my socks on, you know, or I had a really good cup of coffee or I have a really awesome Papa or I live in a beautiful home or I S I felt the sunshine on my face. Find those little things that you're grateful for so that you can rise, rise. Raise your vibration and be able to step out of that grief. But you know, being without family is a loss and it's a grief and it's to be felt as well. So, but, but let your family know that you love them as much as you can, even if they're assholes, right?

Brad: 7:21

family. You might not always like them. But yeah, you'll always love them. And it is, to your point, it's super important to let the people who you love know that you love and appreciate them. Right. I mean, because you're not guaranteed any extra time. Ever. No. No. And

Nannette: 7:39

No, no, and I think that that's what one of the biggest lessons that Corey's death taught our family Is is to stand in that light and to let people know that you love them It's it's really good to have good boundaries with people that are the assholes, right? Right. But you can still love them at a distance that keeps you safe. But let everybody know how you feel about them and stand in that gratitude because it does get you through the holidays. And if you get lonely, we're taking in strays. and we

Brad: 8:13

Well, and, and look, here's something that's really interesting. So we just mentioned that we just got through Halloween and Day of the Dead and, and we totally sidetracked because that's what we were going to talk about is, Hey, let's talk about the Day of the Dead and let's talk about honoring our ancestors today. And somehow we just jump into this other

Nannette: 8:32

it was you. It was you. You always sidetrack.

Brad: 8:34

gonna blame

Nannette: 8:35

Oh, totally. But you know what? I want to open it today of the dead with the fact that we were waking up this morning really early and it was still dark. And. Brad's grandmother popped through and I know her because I've seen her before and I've done a reading with Brad before and she's shown up So I know her by just the look and she popped in and had a great big huge smile And I told him I said, oh your grandma's here and she's smiling I said you need to take time today to get to feel her. And what did you say when we sat down?

Brad: 9:06

So my grandma and I were super close, like really, really close. She was my, you know, if I ever got in a fight with my mom, I would run away to grandma's right. She just lived down the road. And so I would pack up my overnight bag and I would run away to grandma's and she would just take care of me. And we. always had so much fun together, whether it was just watching TV or a movie or going camping or sitting on the patio and just listening to the, the birds sing and reading books together. She was,

Nannette: 9:42

well and she'd walk you to school.

Brad: 9:44

she was amazing. She, well she would, when I was in junior high, she would literally make me breakfast every day before I went to school. I would, I would get up and get ready and I would walk to grandma's house. And she would have breakfast there for

Nannette: 9:57

I love grandmas like that.

Brad: 9:59

And then my, and then my friend Ryan, and we've talked about, wow.

Nannette: 10:10

It's okay.

Brad: 10:15

And then Ryan would meet me at grandma's and we'd finish walking the rest of the way to school.

Nannette: 10:22

Now Ryan's one of Brad's really good friends that has passed as well.

Brad: 10:25

so, yeah, that's a, that's a big memory today.

Nannette: 10:28

Yeah. That's what you get for lighting up the altars, mister.

Brad: 10:36

Yeah.

Nannette: 10:37

So, uh, why would your grandma show up this morning?

Brad: 10:40

grandma So Yeah, this is a special time of the year. Obviously, you know, we just finished with Halloween, right? Which is such a cool holiday. You know, it's very non secular now, but once upon a time, it was a Celtic holiday. You knew that right now.

Nannette: 10:54

a time it was a Celtic holiday. You knew that

Brad: 11:00

Well, I'm doing the weave here. So, so there's a couple of things that happened.

Nannette: 11:12

Okay.

Brad: 11:14

died. Grandpa Zeman died Halloween night. November 2nd is grandma's birthday. And that's also part of the day of the dead, right, where we honor our ancestors. And, uh, so I was lighting up our altar yesterday and, and so in our home, we have an area where we have pictures of our ancestors and our loved ones who have passed. And part of that altar is, you know, we'll. Put small offerings out, whether it's something that helps us remember them. Like my grandpa, I have one of his below bolo ties and harmonica, and we'll put that out for him. Or, you know, I have a little Shakespeare book for my grandma, just little things like that. Nan has a Mountain Dew for Corey and. You know, it's it's things that they they loved in in this life or things that remind us of them so we can tell Stories about them and we can reminisce and remember them

Nannette: 12:13

them. When we do that though, don't you feel them just come in so strong?

Brad: 12:17

Oh, always every time. And you know, one of the things with honoring the ancestors like that, and it's a ritual that has taken place in so many different cultures, right? You know, we, we credit day of the dead to that the ancient Aztecs and because that's kind of where that particular portion came from. But there are cultures around the world who do very similar. Rituals, right? They, the Chinese do it, the, you know, Indians do it. It's, uh, Native Americans do it. It's, you know, it's, it's so prevalent to honor those ancestors because they're part of our team, right? And

Nannette: 12:56

But, but Western the Western world doesn't do it. I,

Brad: 13:02

think that they don't do it maybe in the same manner, but they do it because think about this. We do, we have our cemeteries. Right. And we have like Memorial Day and I think that that is, you know, the, the Western concept of doing the same thing. We'd go and put flowers on the graves, right? You go and you clean the gravestones every Memorial Day. At least I, I remember doing that with grandma. We would go and we'd clean the, the, the, the headstones and we'd take flowers You know, to honor those ancestors, it's just a little different way of doing it, right? So, with the altar and lighting the candles and, burning, you know, incense or kopal or, uh, palisanto or sage or whatever you choose to do, and sending those prayers to, to the ancestors and helping them find their way back to you. It's kind of the idea of that, but it's something that we do

Nannette: 13:56

All year.

Brad: 13:56

yeah, we, we basically do it all year. We, we try to make sure that they are part of our home always. And so when we have, you know, grandkids come over or even our kids come over, they can look at the pictures and go, okay, now who was this? And I can go, Oh, that was, that was my grandpa's mom and dad, or that was my grandma's mom and dad. And that was my grandma's. Grandma, you know, I, it's, it's really cool to have some of those photos and

Nannette: 14:24

Well, and to keep the stories alive too, because you tell the stories and they just live on. And so it makes them tangible, but we celebrate we light up our altar all through the year for all the holidays, but for their birthdays death days and we'll just do, you know, stuff around the one person's on birthdays and death days candles and offerings and things so that we let them know that we haven't forgotten them and we love them and we want them around. We know that they're part of our team, but it, it strengthens that bond. Bond, I think you tell me what you think, but it strengthens the bond on a day to day because they're always a part of us. And when we talk about them all the time, it's as if they're still alive in here with us. I mean, and they are here with us, but we just keep their memory more alive and fresh and tangible.

Brad: 15:11

Yeah, you know, I, I read something that was similar to the effect that

Nannette: 15:17

people

Brad: 15:18

people. Aren't really dead until you forget about them.

Nannette: 15:24

Right.

Brad: 15:25

Because they're always alive in your heart and in your mind and in those stories that live on. And once those stories are gone, that's when someone's dead.

Nannette: 15:36

Right. Well, and words are power, right? So those stories are powerful and, and they go on and on and on. It's like, some of the people we met in Orleans, you know, that they're like people, kids these days don't know their history. They don't know why we do the things that we do right now in our culture. They don't know where the origins come from. And so by keeping you know, honoring our dead and keeping their stories alive, it reminds the kids growing up where they come from and where their roots are from. And it's so important. You feel her, don't you?

Brad: 16:12

Yeah, so I'm going to tell you a story.

Nannette: 16:15

Okay. Old Town

Brad: 16:16

Grandma and Grandpa grew up in, you know, the little town of Spanish Fork. It was just a tiny little town at the time and they, like the whole town would go to Payson to these dances because they had a dance hall. And Grandma and her friend were walking to the train or they might have even just been walking to go to the dance. And, uh, grandpa and his brother were driving and they pulled up in their little car and said, are you going to the dance? Yeah, we are. Well, would you like a ride?

Nannette: 16:47

a ride?

Brad: 16:48

Well, yeah, they didn't want to walk. So of course they, they accept the ride. Even, you know, here's these two strangers. They don't know who they are, but they get a ride with, with grandpa and his brother, uh, to go to the dance. And, uh, they're talking in the back of the car and, you know, in the backseat and a little rumble seat and saying, you know, yeah, when we, when we, we get there, let's ditch these boys and, and, you know, go have fun. Right. Well, they get there and they just kind of try and ditch them. And grandma goes to the, to the bathroom and just hides out in the bathroom. Yup. And when she comes out, grandpa's standing right there. And he looks at her and goes, are you ready to dance yet? And, uh, she said she danced with him and he was the best dancer. And she just fell in love from that point on. But yeah, it's, it's memories like that and stories that, uh, They keep them alive. And I would like to think that that's exactly what grandpa told her when she passed, you know, are you ready to dance?

Nannette: 17:54

Yeah. Now I know where you get your moves from, babe. Brad's a really good dancer.

Brad: 18:01

I'm a cheese ball dancer.

Nannette: 18:05

This is

Brad: 18:06

Wow. This is an emotional show. I, I don't know how much of this is going to make it off the cutting room

Nannette: 18:12

all going on every single tiny bit. She's going to make you cry all day, Brad. It's called love. Yeah. What

Brad: 18:23

Whoa. Okay. So when we light up the altar, what stories come to your mind?

Nannette: 18:29

Oh, so many. I mean, it just depends on which one we're talking about because we've got everybody from cousins to uncles to aunts to grandparents to friends, you know, Everyone and each one has a different story. So it's just, I think these feelings of love that we feel right now about your grandparents I think we fill them with each story and each person because they come, their essence, their spirit comes right in and it's like, yeah, I remember this and they surround us with their love. That's a heck of a heavenly hug if you ask me.

Brad: 19:05

you know,

Nannette: 19:06

Yeah.

Brad: 19:06

that and you go, Oh my God, I miss them so much. I wish I could just give them a hug, but they're there. They're right here. They're with you. And it's funny because, like, when I lit things up the other day, you know, I'm like, Hey, please, ancestors, help. You know, so and so in the family. And, and, uh, I put a few different requests out there and,

Nannette: 19:33

And,

Brad: 19:33

and, you know, you hear the follow up and you go, wow, okay, thank you. Thank you for helping. And, uh, they're there, they're there. You just have to reach out, let them know. I mean, it's a lot of people pray to God, right?

Nannette: 19:47

It's

Brad: 19:48

And it's really the same idea. You know, just thank your ancestors. They're there for you. Just like, like God is. Yeah,

Nannette: 19:54

we're all connected to our source, so it's the same, same with the prayers that you had with the ancestors, you had asked them to help certain family members. I remember cause last night I had, I had said exactly what you had said and it kind of freaked you out a little

Brad: 20:14

It was, yeah, like the exact verbiage that I said to the ancestors, Nan's like, so and so needs to just learn how to do such and such. And I'm like, Holy shit. That is the exact thing I said just a couple hours ago when I lit the altar. It was crazy, but it's maybe that's just because we've been together so long and we're so in tune with

Nannette: 20:38

tune. We do finish each other's sentences.

Brad: 20:42

was, uh, yeah, it's, it's surprising sometimes

Nannette: 20:46

I love us.

Brad: 20:47

me too. Me too. So I wanted to point something else out. So Halloween just passed and. What we did this year for Halloween was literally, uh, we watched Harry Potter.

Nannette: 20:58

We binged

Brad: 20:59

we did a, we, we binged all the Harry Potter movies. And, uh, one of the things that I realized, and it was terrifying when I did. And I pointed this out to Nan, but we'll see what she has to say about it. So if you haven't seen Harry Potter, well, you need to go and watch the series because it's an amazing series. It's special to me because it came out when my kids were little and I remember reading them the books and then going to see the movies. Anyway, there's a character in Harry Potter named Dolores Umbridge.

Nannette: 21:28

my gosh.

Brad: 21:30

And she is by far like the most villainous, horrible, uh, person. She's even worse, I think, than, you know, the main evil Lord Voldemort. But, uh, I realized why I'm like, Oh my God, she's terrifying. I realized why she is literally a relief society president.

Nannette: 21:49

She talks just like that. She does with the half fake smile.

Brad: 21:53

Yeah, well, hello. Hello students. I'm so happy that you're here, but I really hate you, but she's going to say it with a smile and in a sicky, icky, icky voice, so sweet and nice. Even though she's being really horrible.

Nannette: 22:07

Talking down to people, you know, and she's all in pink.

Brad: 22:12

She's like a Mary Kay lady. I

Nannette: 22:13

Yeah, Brad was like, you know, it would have been really funny if she walked around Hogwarts saying, Oh, you're so lovely. I'd like to do a photo shoot with you. Can I do your, your makeup and give you a facial? And drive a pink Cadillac, but like she's, she wears everything pink. And then she has these plates on the wall that has cats that move around on the plates. But the horrible thing that she does. Is she punishes the students by making them write you know, sentences and as they write the sentence, the sentence is carved in their flesh. So they don't need ink, it's carved in their flesh and so they have like these bleeding wounds and it's just,

Brad: 22:50

Yeah, she's an awful woman, but, but she is literally, I think the lady who played her must have watched like hours of conference talks to be able to nail that character so precisely. Oh my gosh, she's, she just nailed it. Anyway, that was, uh, probably the most horrifying thing about our Halloween and our all what six trick or treaters that we had.

Nannette: 23:15

and we, we give good candy, too. Like, what the heck? never, we never used to get trick or treaters in Benjamin because all the houses were so far apart. But, like, in the city here, you would think.

Brad: 23:26

Well, we don't have a lot of young kids in our neighborhood. You know what I mean? We have,

Nannette: 23:30

I know, but

Brad: 23:31

have a lot of middle aged

Nannette: 23:32

parents should be like, yeah, so old people live up on that hill. Like, we should go take our kids to trick or treat with old people to make them happy. And,

Brad: 23:41

So you've got a really good point there because no one appreciates cute kids dressed up in costumes. Like. Grandmas

Nannette: 23:48

it's so true.

Brad: 23:49

take your kids to go trick or treat in those neighborhoods that are like senior neighborhoods. They love that. Well, some of them. There's always the grouchy people, but

Nannette: 23:58

very few. Most of them are just lonely and want to, you know, interact and see little tiny ones and see the creativity and

Brad: 24:06

And they might give Tootsie Rolls, but you know what? Let them give Tootsie Rolls and then give your kid a candy bar later.

Nannette: 24:14

I don't know. We get full size candy

Brad: 24:16

Well, we do, but not everyone does.

Nannette: 24:18

Our neighbors do.

Brad: 24:20

everyone does. There are a lot of people who are like, I'm going to give Tootsie Rolls. I'm on a fixed income. This is what you get. Or here's a potato. Enjoy it. You know what I mean?

Nannette: 24:29

Definitely not on our Ridge though. you know, I, I think that it is important, especially this time of year, to remember if you could picture like a big spiderweb and you're in the center of the spiderweb, it's not a sticky spiderweb or a scary one, just, just a web everyone that your ripple has ever touched, Or you've run into, you guys are connected, whether it be, you know, the person at the grocery store, a teacher, a police officer, you know, no matter what, we're all connected and we should all watch out for each other and show each other respect and love. And there's a lot of upheaval going on, especially with the elections coming around and

Brad: 25:10

Dude, people are crazy. People, people talk, talk politics and they get crazy. Like you can talk to the most level headed, amazing person and they start getting into politics and you're like, okay, that shit's crazy. We're going to back off.

Nannette: 25:24

Yeah. Yeah.

Brad: 25:26

When

Nannette: 25:27

In actuality, you should be able to talk about religion or politics or anything and have a civil conversation about it and actually be open to each other's stuff without feeling attacked. But it's just so angry and so attacking that it shuts people down, but that's what divides us. So hopefully this holiday season we can come together and unite because we are part of the greatest country in the world. And I challenged anybody that doesn't believe that go travel the world because there are some people that have a whole lot less than we do and we're pretty spoiled. And our founding father set us up pretty, pretty nicely. So I think that we need to stand back and stand in gratitude and our, our nation needs to be grateful and united. So just remember we're all connected.

Brad: 26:13

and I think that's kind of the key, that we're all connected and it's even bigger. It's not that our nation needs to be connected and united. The human race needs to be united. And we need to remember our humanity. Right, right. Well,

Nannette: 26:27

and even deeper than that. Z, we need to remember no matter what color, religion, or anything physical that we are, we're all souls having a human experience. We are all spirits and we're all energy. And with that, we need to be able to know that not only are we connected with everyone here, but we're connected with everyone on earth. On the other side too. So every one on the other side, all of their experiences and all of their expertise that they have, they can bring forward to us and help us. They're there to help us, but we have to ask. So just remember that you're more powerful than you think. And you're more loved than you can ever even think of.

Brad: 27:09

Yeah, remember your ancestors, remember your loved ones, and have such a wonderful holiday season.

Nannette: 27:15

Yeah. Be grateful. Raises your vibration.

Brad: 27:20

thank you everyone for listening. We are grateful for you and we're grateful for all the people you tell about the show and all the likes and the comments and the reviews that you leave. Please don't be shy. If you haven't left a review, let us know what you think of the show. If you love it, if you hate it, you know, either or, but, uh, we love hearing your feedback and we hope that you have a wonderful week.

Nannette: 27:45

see you. On the second take of

Brad: 27:47

On the other side of the, I just fucked that all up. Wow. Can I, can I have a second take at that? On the other side of the veil.