Ep. 83 - Balance Through Grief

Grief, how it affects us and where it's stored in our bodies. Discover the profound impact of loss, be it death, job loss, or end of relationships, and learn how energy balancing and muscle testing can aid in the healing process. Brad and Nannette share insights into healthy and unhealthy coping mechanisms, the importance of a support system, and holding space for someone in their time of need. Tune in for an enlightening conversation that touches on vulnerability, healing, and the spiritual growth that often accompanies profound loss. Don't miss out!

Transcript

Nannette: 0:01

Welcome to the Mormon to medium podcast, where we'll talk about spirituality, the paranormal religion, and my journey going from Mormon to medium. I'm Nanette Wride. Thanks for listening. Now let's go have some fun. Welcome to another episode of the Mormon to medium podcast.

Brad: 0:23

Hello.

Nannette: 0:34

topic today.

Brad: 0:35

Well, I don't know. It's so much interesting as it is applicable, right? So we wanted to talk about grief today. It's one of those things that sometimes becomes a little bit of a taboo topic and we just want to open it up a little bit.

Nannette: 0:50

Well, in the past, we've also talked about grief more in depth, but this is going to Towards those that are grieving a loss, and it could be a loss of any type, it could be a death. It could be a loss of a marriage, a loss of a job, you know, just a loss in general because grief is grief. Sometimes it's deeper because I mean, a death would be pretty deep, right?

Brad: 1:16

Well, and that's just the thing, though, is when people think about grief, they only focus on, Oh my gosh, I lost a loved one to death. You know, my loved ones passed on and that's where my grief is coming from. They don't realize that grief can literally be caused by any of those types of losses. And I think that's important to focus on that. Hey, it's, it's okay to grieve This situation.

Nannette: 1:39

Exactly. You want to know something interesting? It just popped into my head. When I am doing energy balancing and muscle balancing grief is actually held in the lungs and yeah, and when I do a muscle test on the emotion if the, if the muscles don't hold. Directly impacts the self confidence and self image. So self image and self worth and self confidence is all related. So I think when you have a loss, your self confidence takes a hit too. It makes you reassess yourself and kind of where you sit in your life.

Brad: 2:20

That makes total sense. I mean, if you think about, Oh my gosh, I've lost my job. A lot of times you wrap your self worth up in that job that, you know, ability to provide and you lose that your self worth definitely takes a hit.

Nannette: 2:33

Exactly. Well, and additionally, if you even lose a loved one, you know, what is your life without that loved one? How do I navigate my life and your self confidence takes a hit because you have to stand in your own light and you have to stand in your own power. And sometimes the people that we lose are our power. They are our strength, you know, so it makes you reassess things.

Brad: 2:57

And so

Nannette: 2:58

I mean, loss and grief are, are universal. Everyone will experience it, but I, I find it so interesting that it's related to the lungs and the lungs are related to self image, self worth and confidence.

Brad: 3:13

So as you do that type of work, how do you release that? What, what do you do to

Nannette: 3:19

There's a balance for that. There's a lot of things

Brad: 3:23

Well, cause you know, there's a lot of things out there. There's healthy ways to deal with grief and loss and stress and et cetera, and there are unhealthy ways, right? We're always going to know, you know, you hear about the healthy ways, let's take care of yourself, exercise, make sure you're taking some time for mental health and relaxing and, you know, all of those types of things. And we all. I've heard also the flip side of that is, you know, unhealthy is substance abuse, whether that's alcohol or drugs or, you know, sex, whatever it might be, you can't drown it in those substances or those,

Nannette: 4:02

people

Brad: 4:03

people

Nannette: 4:03

that do those things, they're in so much pain because of the grief that they just want it to stop for a minute. And so they just want to numb it. And then you get in the cycle of addiction. So, and it's very hard to get out of that. Some, it's, it's kind of a bandaid. But the thing is, is when you finally do stop, the issue is still there and you still have to feel it. This is our school and we're supposed to feel everything and release it. So facing it head on and feeling it and feeling safe to feel it and all the feelings that go with grief, you know, you've got, you've got like the numbness and the anger and you know, the, the deny. They denying that it happened and you know, why did it happen?

Brad: 4:47

the, the Kubler Ross model. So the, the denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

Nannette: 4:54

Yes. And, and they can hit any time. There is no wrong or right way to grieve. They can hit any time and even years out, you know, you can, you can be 10 years out and be utterly pissed that it happened because you're still processing.

Brad: 5:12

it.

Nannette: 5:13

Oh, totally. Absolutely. Does it happen to you? I mean, you've had loss in your life. Do you? Yeah, I think so. Do you process things, you know, even years later and be like, you know, I'm feeling fricking frustrated today or I'm, I can't even believe that happened. And

Brad: 5:33

and I used you as an example because you've had that major grief, right? With the loss of a husband to such a violent action. And I've seen it, you know, I've seen it firsthand that, Hey, Nan's doing really good this year. And then the next year it's a complete show.

Nannette: 5:51

And like I said, there is no wrong or right way. It just is a grief and you have to be allowed to process it. You have to realize it though. I think it. As I, as I go along and, and things get better, I realize what I'm doing instead of just experiencing it and being in, you know, that deep hole of darkness, I realize what's happening and kind of catch it and be like, okay, I'm grieving and I'm feeling anger right now and I'm just going to sit with that for right now and, and process it for right now. And I allow myself the grace to do that. But it's so important to, to allow that. It's part of the healing process, right?

Brad: 6:29

right? Yeah, I, I think so. And so when you're like, Hey, I, I'm feeling this way, what helps you? For

Nannette: 6:38

me staying busy and also thinking because, because it's a death for me thinking what Corey would want me to do to be happy because he wouldn't want me to sit around in a dark room and be depressed. And believe me, I've done that before. I don't allow myself to do that for very long. But sometimes you're just exhausted because you've cried your eyes out and you can't do anything else. Right. But. To, to be busy and usually you'll be like, you know what? What would Corey want to do? Do you, do you want to go get sushi? Should we, because that was his favorite or should we go up in the mountains and do something that he would have loved to do? How can we honor him? And I love that you step in and you do that. You're like, how can we honor him? What can we do? And, and I always Come out of it faster because I feel like I'm honoring him by being happy and by remembering him and you allow me the grace to be able to remember him and you remember him with me. And I think that that's a huge deal. You've helped me immensely be able to heal

Brad: 7:38

I think that's part of handling grief is having a good, healthy support system, right? It's, it's important to have those people you can rely on.

Nannette: 7:49

Well, you definitely don't want to be left alone because when you get in that depression cycle, being alone is the last thing you need,

Brad: 7:55

Well, and it's kind of a weird double edged sword, right? Because when you are depressed, you just want to be alone.

Nannette: 8:01

but you don't really,

Brad: 8:02

But you do because you're like, I just wanna lay here and sleep.

Nannette: 8:05

exactly. But then you don't really, because you feel like nobody gives a shit about me.

Brad: 8:10

I'm

Nannette: 8:10

really dark here and I'm struggling and I'm depressed and nobody cares. And, and you get into that loop and it's, it's a silent loop. Most of the time, you know, it's inside your head. You would never verbalize it and be like, I just want someone to care. Pick me.

Brad: 8:25

Why do me, why do you think nobody verbalizes it?

Nannette: 8:27

I

Brad: 8:28

because wouldn't,

Nannette: 8:29

don't want to be needy.

Brad: 8:30

wouldn't that. Eliminate the issue.

Nannette: 8:32

It would,

Brad: 8:33

just that little bit of communication, like, Hey, I really, really need some help. I really, really just need to be held.

Nannette: 8:40

but how hard is it for a lot of people to be vulnerable because vulnerability is, is seen as a weakness a lot of times when in actuality it's a strength. And I love Brene Brown's book on vulnerability. Read it. If you haven't read it. Huge. It's awesome. She talks about it being a strength, being able to communicate and, and enunciate how you're feeling and what, what's going on and how other people can help you is so key in being able to pull yourself out of that cycle. I, I call it circling the drain.

Brad: 9:15

So, so I, I guess the big thing is how do you empower somebody to feel like they can talk about that? Because you know, obviously looking from the outside in, people will go, Oh my gosh, you know, I can tell there's something wrong, but I don't know what to do. So how do you, as one of those outsiders looking in, help empower somebody to vocalize, to

Nannette: 9:38

I, I don't know that you can empower somebody unless they're willing to heal and take those steps to heal. Cause a lot of people just want to be where they're at. But what you can do is you can show them love and hold space for them and just sit with them.

Brad: 9:54

Okay, I'm going to ask you a question that you're going to be like, what the hell, why did you ask that? So you hear that phrase all the time, hold space for them. That is something that you hear from counselors. You hear it from people in the energy work business, from psychic mediums, from, you know, Nanette. But what does it mean to quote? Hold space for someone.

Nannette: 10:23

means when someone is in a deep, dark hole, I call it sitting in your shit. And there, sometimes you have to just sit in it and process it, but when you hold space for someone, you crawl down in the hole with them and sit with them and you don't bring your own story with you. You just hold it. Listen, you just validate them and you don't bring your own stuff. You don't say, I understand, or I've been there or any, it's not about you. It's about them. And so you're holding space for them to feel the way they're feeling and let it be a safe space to fill how they feel and let them know that they're loved and you just hold their hand. You just surround them in love the end and that's holding space and not making it about you.

Brad: 11:11

Got it. And you know what, that actually makes a lot of sense because that is really easy to go, okay, how's this person feeling? How do I relate it to a way that I've felt in the past and how did I take care of that in the past? Okay, I'm going to share this now.

Nannette: 11:25

Right. But a lot of times when you're holding space you know, as the person's processing, they might be like, have you felt like this before? And they'll start to ask questions and then you can share,

Brad: 11:34

And then you're like, no, you're crazy. What's wrong with you?

Nannette: 11:43

No,

Brad: 11:43

that be a,

Nannette: 11:44

zero idea how you're feeling. You're just shit crazy.

Brad: 11:47

sorry. I'm just here because I heard it on a podcast. This is what I'm supposed to do. I should. You know

Nannette: 11:54

know what though, honestly and truly, it's, it's what we should do for everyone, you know, whether whatever the losses we should sit with people and let them feel safe and accepted. I think a lot of people when they experience loss they feel As if they're an outsider, you know, you don't understand how I feel. They felt very alone, very isolated. And, and like, something's wrong with them.

Brad: 12:19

You know, I had a, a pretty tragic loss once and I said a prayer and the next place I looked for my keys, I found them.

Nannette: 12:27

You know, you're Mormon. And when, I

Brad: 12:38

And I just had this feeling that if I prayed about it, everything would be okay. And so I said a prayer and I, I asked for help finding our car keys. The next place I looked, I found them. God knew we had to go to the temple that day.

Nannette: 12:55

Speaking of,

Brad: 12:56

you remember me telling

Nannette: 12:57

do you remember me telling you about losing my car keys? After Cory died, like right after his funeral

Brad: 13:04

you found them like, in some random ass place, right?

Nannette: 13:07

in a different room that had been shut down. Shut off from everybody. So weird. Like he literally, and it was by a picture of him, like because I lost my voice, remember? And it. At this point in time, I didn't know that I was gifted in that I was an empath and that I feel other people's stuff and I don't want people to hurt. So even at the viewing, I was like comforting other people rather than the other way around. But I gave my energy and gave it and gave it and gave it and I lost my voice.

Brad: 13:37

and you never spoke your voice either.

Nannette: 13:39

No, but I mean like literally I didn't even have a squeak, like nothing would come out, nothing. And it was like that for probably a good 10 days, like nothing.

Brad: 13:48

nothing wow That is so crazy to even imagine The only time i've seen you where you don't talk is when you're pissed So that was probably terrifying for your family. They're like, oh god mom

Nannette: 14:01

it's not for lack

Brad: 14:02

Mom's not talking. Oh shit

Nannette: 14:05

it's not for lack of trying. I tried to talk, so I had to carry around a pad of paper and a pencil and ball my kids out on a pad of paper. But you know, when you're getting ready to go to the temple, Satan steps in and makes it impossible for you to go.

Brad: 14:19

Oh my God.

Nannette: 14:21

That's why you lose your keys.

Brad: 14:23

I know. The devil takes your keys. The devil makes you run late in traffic. The devil makes it so that you don't go to that most holy of holy. And I hate even talking like this. It sounds so disrespectful, but oh my gosh, I've got trauma to unpack with that.

Nannette: 14:41

Hey, Brad, there's a balance for that.

Brad: 14:43

there a balance for that? If only I knew somebody who was great at giving balances, uh, then I could,

Nannette: 14:49

What, what exactly, you know, we say that all the time, but what exactly does that mean? There's a balance for that. What does that mean?

Brad: 14:56

you

Nannette: 14:56

Why, why do you need a balance?

Brad: 14:58

was hoping that somebody who was certified in, Touch for health might be able to explain that. Do I need to call up like a Dr. Fee or something and see if they can explain it? Or would you happen to have some firsthand knowledge there?

Nannette: 15:13

You know, this is, this is a husband test though. I want to see what you say.

Brad: 15:17

Oh, Jesus Christ, Nan. Well,

Nannette: 15:21

it's a test, honey. Take drink more coffee

Brad: 15:23

so let me ask you this Nan, if you had several tributaries of water running through your body and some crazy beaver came and packed up a bunch of sticks and mud and blocked off and dammed off one of those tributaries to make a big, big

Nannette: 15:40

a tributary?

Brad: 15:41

uh,

Nannette: 15:41

a

Brad: 15:43

A smaller river. So,

Nannette: 15:46

And,

Brad: 15:46

and that beaver blocked off that, that area to make a big beaver dam where it could fish. What happens to everything below the beaver dam?

Nannette: 15:55

It has less energy. It's sometimes a trickle, sometimes

Brad: 15:59

Yeah, it dries up. It's going to dry up. So the key with a balance. Is to help tear down those beaver dams. Not because we don't like beavers, but because we don't want our water being blocked off and drying everything else up.

Nannette: 16:13

it's true. Exactly. And the water being our, Energy, our life force, energy rivers, right? So our chakras are meridians or Archie. Yeah, 99 percent of us are energy. So we probably need to keep that part of ourselves balanced. I have had such cool clients come in and. Most of the muscles don't balance, like none of them are working. That's how stressed they are. It's so cool to balance them and all of a sudden, especially if it's a one point balance and a one point balance is we do one thing and it turns all the energy on. Like it's the, it's the coolest thing because then you go back and you test the muscles and they hold strong. I'm a client's like, what the crap? Because I just a second ago that would not, I wasn't strong.

Brad: 17:04

ago, that was not, I wasn't strong. Exactly. And that's Touch

Nannette: 17:10

And that's touch for health. That's such for health. It's so cool. Anyone can learn how to do

Brad: 17:14

cool. Anyone can learn how to do that.

Nannette: 17:19

You know what? It would, but it takes a lot of time. But yes, you always have to ask the body. You know, when I very first started doing this work, I would be like, okay, this person has a headache and we're going to need to do this and this and this, or this person has low back pain. So we're going to have to work on their hip flexors and we're going to have to work on their psoas and like all the muscles in the hip area will. Get this, like the, the meridians that run through the hips also run through the upper body as well. So you could have a blockage in the upper body that's causing the lower body not to get energy. So you actually have to ask the body and not have a story about it. So it could be any of thousands of balances.

Brad: 17:59

what you're saying is you have to go into it objectively as a practitioner and just be like, let's see what your body

Nannette: 18:06

Exactly. And it has zero story. Yeah. You know, one of my favorite thing is when people come in super, super depressed, like I'm talking, they walk up and they're vibing

Brad: 18:16

That's your favorite thing when people are super depressed.

Nannette: 18:19

because when they, when

Brad: 18:21

That is horrible.

Nannette: 18:22

no, when they get a balance as soon as they're balanced, you can see, and I know this is a Mormon thing, the word, but their countenance, everything about their energy changes, their light just starts to glow in their face. And all of a sudden they look at me like, what just happened? Because I'm not depressed anymore. I don't feel like I did, but I'm, I'm like, but do you understand why you felt depressed? Do you understand what your body was saying to you? Look at all the muscles in the meridians and the energy blocks that you had. Take a moment. Do you understand now what happened and what was happening and why you don't feel that anymore? And it's just like this, this sacred place to stand, you know, in healing because people don't have to feel that way. They don't have to feel stressed. There's a balance for that. Actually, there's lots of balances for that, for stress. If you have tons and tons of stress, that's a beaver down and you can turn it from a 10 down to a one or a zero and be like, Okay. I, I got this. Like I can do this. And that's, that's the whole point. Like if you can work with your energy centers and work with the muscles and the body, you can get through anything. If you can understand it and you can heal it. If you can feel it, you can heal it.

Brad: 19:39

And there are simple balances people can do on themselves, right? I mean, you've taught me a few of them that are pretty easy to

Nannette: 19:45

absolutely. Well, and on several people, when we're out and about, I just go and put my hands on their kidneys knowing that they're dehydrated. That's a really good way to hydrate the kidneys. Put your hands on the kidneys and hold them there. The kidneys will hydrate and all of a sudden muscle cramps will go away. And.

Brad: 20:05

yeah, you've got, you've

Nannette: 20:08

Well, yeah, you've got, you've got to picture energy coming from the center of you and shooting out through your hands. But with practice it gets really, really good. And I also love being able to balance people that don't even know what energy is and then having them get to feel their energy pulsating through their body. It kind of feels like a heartbeat, but not. And when you don't, let's say you don't have energy running on the left side of your body, but you do on the right side of your body, you can hold the end of a meridian on each side. So bilaterally you can hold them and you can feel the beat on one side and nothing on the other. And you just sit there and hold it until you feel the beat simultaneously on both sides and the client can feel it. And it's the coolest thing ever because they're like, I can feel it starting to tingle up in my chest or I can feel it down my leg or I can, Oh my gosh, I feel, I feel the pulsation. That is so cool. And, and I'm like, for the longest time, I used to think that was always a heartbeat. But when I went to the instructor classes, they're like, that is not the heartbeat. That's not where the heart's at. Like that is energy. That is the feeling of energy. So very, very, very cool stuff.

Brad: 21:16

That is, and well, and you just talked about, you know, working with people who don't have any idea what that is. We were at a wedding for a family member recently, and, uh, you got the chance to show somebody just exactly what this looked like, right?

Nannette: 21:32

I did this family member. He, he apparently had low back issues, but he went to stand up and it's stoved up and he was half bent over and could not move and could not breathe like extreme pain. And he was just like, everybody thought he was having like a stroke or

Brad: 21:49

or something. And

Nannette: 21:50

And Brad comes over

Brad: 21:51

he'd had, he's had some, you know, some health issues in the past that made everyone go, Oh my gosh, is this happening again?

Nannette: 21:56

Right. Interestingly enough part of the muscles in that low back, one of them is the psoas muscle and the, the emotion that is in the psoas muscle is the inability to move forward. And when that back stoves up, you literally can't move forward. You're stuck, but within maybe three minutes I was able to sedate those meridians and get him moving and standing up. And he told me,

Brad: 22:23

was amazing. Yeah. Cause he, he was so excited. He's like, Oh my gosh, you got me moving quicker. I've gone to my chiropractor for years and he can never get me moving that quick.

Nannette: 22:32

he's like, I don't know what you did, but my pain is gone. And I was just like that. And that's the thing. I have nine different pain balances that can be used. Nine different ones.

Brad: 22:43

Well, and that's just the ones you know off the top of your head.

Nannette: 22:45

that I know off the top of my head. Yeah. Take a pick. They're very, very, very powerful.

Brad: 22:51

you

Nannette: 22:51

what? It can be used for grief. It can be used for muscle issues. It can be used for any type of pain. But if, if you're feeling anything that you don't want to feel, it's an invitation to heal.

Brad: 23:03

invitation to heal. Well, it's, it's kind of like this tissue box you've got sitting in your office. It's, it's got a,

Nannette: 23:09

frame.

Brad: 23:11

it's got a saying on it that says, if you can feel it, you can heal it.

Nannette: 23:16

Literally. So if you feel it in your heart or in your body or in your muscles or anywhere, there's a balance for that.

Brad: 23:26

Awesome. I love it. So, Hey, I did want to, uh, remind you that earlier we drew a card.

Nannette: 23:34

You did. Yeah. I love when you draw the cards.

Brad: 23:37

So we drew a card for the audience to give everybody a little bit of, uh, what are we giving them?

Nannette: 23:44

We're giving them good juju for the week.

Brad: 23:47

Yeah, give you, give everyone a little good juju for the week so what we're looking at when I drew the card and I pulled this cool deck and we'll throw a of what it looks like onto the socials, but. It says on the bottom of it, nourish the soul. And the image is like this, uh, black Panther drinking from a stream, but the black Panther is ethereal. It's like made of stars and, and, you know, luminescence it's, it's really pretty, but essentially what this card comes down to is drink in life. Enjoy life. Life is supposed to be

Nannette: 24:27

all

Brad: 24:28

all of those things, right? All of the bright colors. It's supposed to be all of the smells, all the taste. It's supposed to be something that you explore every day. Nourish the soul through those experiences, whether they are within you or around you, your, your journey. It's meant to be one of those great experiences, experience it, and whether that means you go and you sit somewhere quietly and you just listen and you watch the birds or you do one of those things that makes you feel like an old person, right? Like that's how that's our excitement in the morning. It's like, Oh my God, look, there's two hummingbirds at the same time. But

Nannette: 25:08

hey, they're cool. Exactly.

Brad: 25:10

Do those things experience life all around you. It's It's meant to be that rainbow of color and motion and sound. It's not that bland, tasteless thing that grief might try to trick you into believing. Life is vibrant.

Nannette: 25:29

In addition to that my team's popping in and I need to, to also say

Brad: 25:35

loss,

Nannette: 25:35

when we experience any kind of loss when we're going through grief, when we start to heal that, we actually get in touch with our spiritual side. And we shift and we grow. And so, nothing will help you grow more deeply than loss. So keep that in mind if you're going through loss, there's always an upside. And so as deep as you go in the darkness, you're going to go that high in the

Brad: 26:04

Absolutely.

Nannette: 26:05

remember the bottom isn't the end.

Brad: 26:09

Well, and we're all connected and you can always reach out to people. And if anybody out there needs help we are always here.

Nannette: 26:17

Absolutely. Don't ever feel alone. We hope you have an awesome week. Thanks for joining us. If you want to go and leave a review, please do help us grow, share our podcast come and follow us on our Instagram, on our Facebook pages. And if you'd like to book a balance. Or a reading, or if you'd like a clearing and start working on your spirituality you can find all of those appointments on zenergysage.com. com and find out the things that we offer. Keep watching for the upcoming classes that are coming. You're going to want to join those workshops. There are many workshops. So there are just a couple of hours and you can start balancing your animals, your kids, yourself. And in March, you can start learning, uh, touch for help and start balancing your friends. We just love you. And we're so, so grateful

Brad: 27:11

Thank you so much, and we'll see you

Nannette: 27:13

on the other side of the veil.